dear poor black kid, we all know how successful you've become thanks to the advice of Gene Marks, but what was your life like before pulling yourself up by your bootstraps? did you use myspace instead of linkedin? yahoo answers instead of google scholar?
My Forbes subscription is the only constant between my life then and now. I didn’t have a computer a week and a half ago so I couldn’t enjoy Myspace or Yahoo Answers. To think, reading sufficiently was probably my #4 or #5 priority behind staying warm, keeping my little brother safe, helping my mom pay the rent and maybe eating. Thanks to Gene, reading is now my #1 priority and look how much better my life is!
How did you manage to learn anything in school with all the kids wiling out all the time?
I use the internet for learning! School is just a fun place to hang out and talk with my guidance counselor during the daytime.
How do you like using Backpack to do your homework? Is it hard for you to make the $9/mo subscription fee?
Yeah, Backpack is great! Why do you ask about the subscription fee? Is there a free service that allows you to upload docs, share a calendar, and send messages? Mr. Marks never mentioned one. I can’t imagine some resource exists that could help me escape poverty that Gene Marks doesn’t.
have you tried winning the lottery?
Why play the lottery when all I have to do to succeed is study hard, use a computer, talk to my awesome guidance counselor, have a part-time job, get into a good school with great scholarships, and land a high-paying job?
Hey, poor black kid! What is the first thing you will buy when you are mega rich, just like a white guy? What is your dream unpaid intership?
I will buy Forbes so I can better advise poor black kids and others. I dream of a Forbes where every article solves the problems of struggling people. As for my dream unpaid internship? Easy. Assistant to the man that taught me everything: Gene Marks. Oh, to be closer to those brains.
Hey poor black kid. I want to study hard and do well at my overcrowded public school, but I've had this toothache for three or four years, and it's really distracting. My teacher thinks I should go on ADHD medication. What should I do?
Become a dentist! Extract your own tooth. Then get back to reading and stalking guidance counselors at the nearest private school
As a poor black kid, I'm wondering what magazine you think every other poor black kid should be reading once they've finished their Forbes Magazine for the month?
Regardies. It was a Washington business magazine in the 1980s. It has been out of print for a decade, but don’t let that stop you from learning the relevant lessons it has for us poor black kids
Hey, Poor Black Kid! I'm a well intentioned white lady who wants to know how I can help other poor black kids, especially those who maybe want to be biochemists or history professors or war correspondents or anything other than a web developer. Do you have any recommendations for ways I can condescendingly advise other poor black kids while simultaneously implying they'd have just as many opportunities as rich white kids if they weren't so ignorant?
Write about it in the Chronicle of Higher Education. Poor black kids can’t get enough of that. Just be sure to talk about how little you actually know about us while offering very general advice and specific resources. That way we will know you are serious about improving our future
Hi poor black kid, I'm on a tight budget but I'm always hungry, do you have any easy recipes or hunger suppression methods that I could use?
Use Skype video to watch other people around the world eat food. You will fill your mind with global delicacies!
Even chinese kids agree with Gene! (thanks to Roy Russell on Google+ for the image)
